When it comes to dating, the reason that most guys have very limited success in dating and relationships is that they simply do not know what women really want. And when I say really I mean that there is usually a big difference between what a woman might say in what she logically wants from a guy in a relationship and in the initial courtship or dating stages to what she really wants. Believe me there is a difference. What I am going to go through next is what most guys do wrong and what they should be doing instead from when they first approach a girl to being in a full relationship with her.
Play the game
When most guys are meeting women the main reason that they do not seem to have any success is that they do not know how to play the game. What I mean by this is that they do not know how to read what a girl is really trying to tell them. As a rule us as guys are more direct among ourselves when it comes to communicating with each other and the problem is that we expect the same from women. One simple example of this is most guys are quick to tell a girl if he likes her and usually with the expectation that she will respond in kind. This rarely happens and this is the last thing that any guy should do especially early in the interaction. Even if the girl might like the guy hearing this will likely turn her off. This usually comes across as weak and even needy if she picks up the vibe that he is expecting her to respond. Instead you should always assume. Do not be afraid to let her know that you are attracted to her but do not be put off if she does not respond in the way that you want. Just assume that she feels the same, if she is still talking to you it is a good sign that she feels the same way. Usually her body language is a good indicator which brings me to the next point.
Read the signs
Always pay attention to the signals that she is giving off. Reading her body language is the best way to read what she is thinking and what her intentions are. Like I mentioned in a previous blog, look for clusters of three indicators of interest from her. If her body language is very open, she is playing with her hair and her pupils appear to be dilated then it is a good sign that she is attracted to you.
Take the lead
It is very important that you always take the lead because all women want this. From a woman’s point of view this demonstrates to her that you are a guy that is confident in who he is and that he knows what he wants and most importantly that he knows that she wants. Examples of this can be when you are in a conversation with her and you find yourself jumping through her hoops and answering every question that she asks you. Both guys and women are guilty of this but again I am keen to stress it is up to the guy to take control. If you don’t like where the conversation is going then change the subject and talk about something else that will give you both the chance to connect. Another example of this could be when you are on a date, you should always be taking the lead on what restaurant or bar that you plan to take her to.
Stay in your own reality
Always be comfortable in who you are whether you have just met her in a bar to when you are in a full relationship with her. Do not be afraid to voice your own opinions on life or your sense of humour. This seems to be a big issue with a lot of clients that I have met in that they are putting him or her on the pedestal because they are in the frame of mind that they do not want to lose their approval. Guys are especially guilty of this and it can come off as a big turnoff for women. Keep in your own reality of what you want and value in life and do not buy into her reality. She will respect you more for it. This is important in all the dynamics of the relationship to the first meeting to living with each other.
John Keane NLP prtcnr