Make Your Body Language Work For You

Brian is the owner of a small business, and he meets many people each day. He always thought that he had good social skills, but he seemed to have trouble meeting women he found attractive. He never thought of beautiful women as being too good for him…

He’s a strong person – he has to be to keep his business going. He kept trying to strike up conversations with women, but seldom got as far as getting a phone number or any kind of interest in return. When he did get a phone number, the woman wouldn’t answer his calls or texts.

When I started speaking to Brian, I saw that his problem lay with his body language. It can give off signals without us realising it. Instead of signalling to women that he’s a strong person who could add value to their lives, he looked bored, awkward and needy. Women need excitement, adventure and fascination and his body language needs to express this before he even starts talking to them.

While talking to Brian, I realised that he was under a great deal of stress due to the expansion of his business. Stress influenced his body language and contributed to the problems he had with his non-verbal communication. I suggested that he take time to relax before going out to meet women. Taking time to go for a walk after work, or sitting quietly and clearing his head after a busy day, will leave him looking far more relaxed.

Awkwardness makes people uncomfortable. People go to great lengths to avoid awkward situations and if the situation can be avoided by not talking to him, he will be ignored or rejected. Women won’t feel emotionally engaged if Brian looks bored. If he looks uninterested in what’s going on around him, chances are that he’s not interesting either. He also tended to lean in when he spoke to a woman. This made him look needy and desperate and made her uncomfortable. It’s important to observe personal space when speaking to a stranger.

The easy answer to Brian’s problems lay in teaching him how to control his body language. He learned to look comfortable in all situations by making and maintaining eye contact, keeping his posture relaxed, his hands calm, down by his side and out of his pockets and not scanning the room constantly. I taught him the right level of physical escalation and made sure he knew how to use touch to engage someone, without being overly aggressive or seeming wimpy.

A woman wants a man who won’t impair her social status, so it’s essential that he looks like he belongs in any situation. In fact, a woman will feel that he could add more value to her life if he could elevate her social status. Of course, body language must be backed up by an effective verbal message.

Completing the Kama Lifestyles course has enabled Brian to draw women in emotionally and stimulate their imaginations, by using flowing, relaxed, spontaneous conversation. He got his first date on the day he finished the training. He’s been out with a couple of women since, but he hasn’t met anyone with whom he wanted to start a long-term relationship. He’s having so much fun that he doesn’t really mind. Changing his body language has even helped him to draw in customers and increase sales in his business. He hasn’t had to change himself. All it took was a few changes to his behaviour and his attitude for Brian to become successful in attracting women.

Brian Doyle, 45, Business Owner, Co. Kildare

If you would like to learn more about the art of attraction and how meet your ideal partner, check out our website on www.kamalifestyles.com. You can visit our testimonials page and listen to our audio interviews on the media page. We are here to help you so let the change begin today!